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A Capital Offense

Dog Doodoo and Dodo Birds

Sidewalk cafes on wide, leafy boulevards are part of Berlin's charm. But be careful where you sit. That odor you smell may not be coming from your food....

NIH / National Human Genome Research Institute

A dog dreaming about Libauerstrasse in Berlin.

Back when communist East Germany was still around -- along with its almost ubiquitous secret police known as the Stasi -- people would always glance around before beginning a conversation. With tens of thousands of spooks spying on their neighbors, there was no telling who might be listening. And with the concentration of spies especially high in the East German capital city, East Berliners had to be especially careful. The quick glance over the shoulder came to be known as the Berliner Blick -- the Berlin scan.

Today, although East Germany may have gone the way of the dodo, the Berliner Blick is still around. But instead of spying for spooks, Berliners' eyes are fixed firmly on the ground before them and they are watching for a different kind of waste. Dog shit.

It's everywhere. Wide leafy boulevards may be nice to look at, but the base of every tree is sure to have been turned into a canine bathroom. Most parks are full of piles. And sidewalks, particularly smack in front of building entrances, aren't off limits either. A recent count on the small street of Libauerstrasse in the eastern Berlin neighborhood of Friedrichshain -- hands down the most poop-plagued part of the city -- revealed over 70 mutt mounds.

The center of the city, of course, tends to be largely crap free. Residential neighborhoods, though -- including such tourist favorites as Prenzlauerberg and Kreuzberg -- are dangerous. Berliners -- especially street kids -- are simply fond of their dogs. And the bigger the better. Rather than the rodent-esque creatures Munich residents like to drag around at the end of the leash -- or carry around in bike baskets -- a real Berliner wouldn't be seen dead with a mini-mutt. Nor with a pooper-scooper for that matter. 

But there are ways to minimize the risk of having a crappy trip to the German capital:

• Develop a Berliner Blick of your own. Nobody will begrudge you keeping your eyes fixed on your feet.

• When picking a table at a sidewalk café, choose carefully. The wafting scent of dog deposit can ruin a meal no matter how well prepared.

• Park picnics are all well and good, but examine the grass before spreading out your blanket.

• If you do hit a mine, you're allowed to cuss loudly. But you can console yourself by remembering, you've just become a true Berliner.

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