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Those Wacky Ways

Fun and Games in Germany

Rude? Standoffish? Nosy? Come on! Germans aren't that bad. They just want to play -- and it's up to you to learn the rules of their games. Once you do, they're great fun.

I don't know why foreigners are always complaining about the Germans. I've lived here almost 20 years now and can say that the Germans are just misunderstood. If you take a closer look you will come to realize that they are a very polite, shy, fun-loving and humorous people.

Take an example from last week. I was at the bookstore, standing in line. This process is, by the way, called a Schlange in German, which means "snake". Some nasty foreigners like to say that the reason for the name is because standing in line can sometimes be poisonous with all the pushing and jostling which goes on. But the real reason lines here tend to slither around while you're standing in them is because Germans like to play.

While in the line in question, the woman behind me started to push. Such behavior is customary here and is merely an indication of Germans' fun-loving nature. So I pushed back, getting into the game. But she began to push harder and harder until I was forced to turn around and tell her that while I was having a great time, my arms were on the verge of turning blue. To which she replied, "Lady, I think you have a big problem with bodily contact!" Whoa, that was so funny I almost fell on the ground laughing! Germans are sooo funny!

Another one of their wonderful games involves a trip to the department store. It goes like this: needing assistance, you go looking for a clerk. You spy two of them together, deep in conversation. The rules of the game allow you to approach, but do not -- I repeat: DO NOT -- interrupt them until they have finished. Otherwise, the rules allow them to become abusive.

When they have finished, you can ask your question. But there is a script they are required to follow: "I am not responsible for that, please go over there and ask my colleague," is the correct response, no matter what your inquiry. When you go to the other side of the store to ask the colleague, he will repeat the same words.Remember, this is a game so lighten up and don't be so stuffy! You are being given the opportunity to become involved in one of the most popular games in German culture! It's called, "Aggravate the Customer!" And remember, just play along -- eventually they will answer your question.

Another fun pastime is the German habit of staring out the window, pad of paper and pencil in hand, seemingly for hours on end. This tends to be a hobby reserved for the elderly, since they have more time. The goal is to watch the comings and goings of their neighbors and to note down minor infractions that endanger the public good. 

Once, I took some old newspapers to a recycling bin located several blocks from home. When I got there, the container was full and others had started to pile their paper next to the container. Not knowing what to do, I put down my heavy load while considering my next step. Suddenly, I heard a loud, "I see what you're doing and I'm writing down what you look like so I can call the police!" I looked up and there was a sweet looking, elderly little man leaning out of his window busily scribbling down a description.

I had already been briefed on the rules of this particular game. I was told that those with nothing better to do keep a daily journal of people who have committed minor infractions. At the end of each week, they meet to tally up points. With this in mind, I waved and cheerfully shouted back the expected response: "You horrible old man, I'm going to write down your address and report you to the police for harassing innocent citizens!" Then I pulled out my pad of paper and pencil (which I keep for game-playing purposes) and pretended to write. Ah what a joy it is to live in such a fun-loving country!

One final game that should be mentioned involves German parties and is played when you go to a party where you are the only foreigner and everyone else is German. If no one looks your way, asks how you are, where you're from or what you're doing in Germany, don't despair. Germans are very, very, very shy and just cannot bring themselves to talk to strangers, especially if they are from another country. You, as the foreigner, have to take the initiative. By all means, walk up to them and ask them something about themselves. That's all you have to do. The person you talked to will proudly tell his wife later that night, that he talked to a foreigner and the next day he will joke with his colleagues. It's all part of the game! Those naughty, funny Germans!

Yes, as I said, I've lived in Germany now close to 20 years and I still find it invigorating! Every day a new and interesting game to be played! If you're new at all this, just remember -- don't listen to what other foreigners say about the Germans. They are just horribly misunderstood.

Come with an open mind and experience it for yourself - you'll be surprised at the outcome.

Contributed by Cheryl Watamura Martinez. A version of this piece first appeared on her blog strangerinastrangedeutschland.