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Bargain Buys

No-Frills Shopping, German Style

Shopping in Germany is not always consumer-friendly. In fact the country's numerous bargain supermarkets can often be downright hostile environments.

A visit to a low-cost supermarket is a very "German" experience. They are not that difficult to find here, the only store they appear to have more of are bakeries. I always keep in mind when shopping in one of these supermarkets that "at least it's cheap."

These stores are sparsely designed; the floor is covered with a generic brownish tile that you’re certain was never in style, the walls and (10 foot high) ceiling are painted white, and the (uncovered) fluorescent lights are so bright you cast no shadow. Furthermore there are no windows, except at the front of the store, and all the food is stacked on pallets. Apparently the designer (if there was one) was going for that "nuclear fallout shelter" look.

After putting your euro coin deposit into the slot to get your shopping cart you head down the first aisle. There are four or five aisles that are arranged in such away that you have to follow your way around like a rat in a maze. If you forgot something in the first aisle you need to loop all the way back around to get it.

I should point out that the reason I shop at these supermarkets is that it’s cheap, and the quality is ok (I haven’t got food poisoning, yet) but you have to keep your eyes out. The fruit and vegetable section isn’t refrigerated (or watered) so there’s a good chance of something going bad. I’m not talking about "oh, that looks a bit bruised" -- I mean "Jeez, look at the mold on that!" This is exacerbated by the fact that no supermarket employee feels compelled to remove said item. They are apparently quite content to let it sit there for a week contaminating the fruit/vegetables that surround it.

The other thing you have to keep an eye out for is the employees themselves. In the event that a pallet needs to be replaced with a fully stocked one they drag out one of those pallet movers, not caring whoever is in their way. This is equally true when they clean the floors every evening just before closing. The only people they warn with "Excuse me, I need to get through here" are the old ladies. Mind you, if something was actually spilt onto the floor no one is in a great rush to clean it up. In Australia, the US, and even England it would be cleaned up relatively quickly, if nothing else so that someone doesn’t slip over and sue them. To the Germans' credit, that doesn't seem to be much of an issue here.

Anyway, you follow your way around the store getting your cereal, milk, apple juice and bratwurst. Some of the items are blatant rip-offs of more commercially known brands, e.g. instead of "red bull" they'll have "red horse" and anything that isn’t German in origin or style is labelled "American style." Some items I recall as being labelled "American style" are (I swear I’m not making any of this up) bread, toasters, cookies, ice cream, and even rice.

Once you have everything you make your way to the register, of which there are not enough -- and some of them are usually closed. There’s no "express lane" and even if you only have one or two things people will still manoeuvre their full trolley in front of you. In the event that another register opens there is a mad scramble to it. You thought people holidaying in Spain were uncivilized, observe a German supermarket when another register opens! The pacemakers of the old ladies kick into high gear and they ram their trolleys through the pack to get poll position.

Once at the conveyor belt, which is about eight feet long, you start loading your stuff on. You still have to be wary of old ladies behind you, as they don’t seem to mind if they push their trolley into the back of your legs. Once you get to the register there is a perfunctory "Guten Tag" and then it’s all systems go. While the cashier is ringing through your purchases you are also putting everything back into your trolley. Yes, that’s right -- they don’t even put your shopping in bags for you. They have bags there, which you have to pay for, but you’d still have to do it yourself. The split second they have announced the total their hand shoots out expectantly, even though it’s obvious to all and sundry that you’re still putting your groceries into the trolley.

After the register you head to one of the three tables at the front of the store, keeping a constant eye out for trolleys that are on the loose. At the table you proceed to take everything out of your trolley (again) and put it into the bags you brought with you. Then you return the trolley and get your euro back. And thank God you've survived.

Contributed by Stuart Anderson, Australia