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A Frighteningly Bad Quiz

The Most Absurd Horror Film Posters Ever

By Benjamin Maack

They're supposed to be bloody and terrifying, but some horror film posters are so ridiculous they elicit chuckles instead of shudders. Many B-movie fans treasure this unintended humor and have become collectors of these monuments to bad taste. Read the story and take the quiz.

The unsuspecting blonde swims along the ocean's surface. Not far beneath her, a humongous shark is rising up from the depths to attack her. Its teeth are razor-sharp, and its mouth is big enough to swallow her whole. In the thin band of sky above the woman, "JAWS" is spelled out in blood-red letters. To the observer, it's clear that it won't be long before the color of the letters bleeds down into the water.

It's not for nothing that the poster for Stephen Spielberg's 1975 foray into the horror film genre is considered one of the best of all time. It doesn't need any other words to perfectly express the terrifying movie's theme: the primal fear of the swimmers who, when they peer down into the murky depths, ask themselves what might be lurking below.

All the way into the 1950s, film posters were the most important way of promoting movies. They were plasted on advertising boards and on walls and cinemas used them both to advertise what was playing from their front windows as well as to decorate the walls of their foyers. Their job was to excite the curiosity of the potential moviegoer. And if a film didn't boast a big movie star or a famous director, having a cool poster was the best way to get someone to buy a ticket. It was under these circumstances that movie-poster design grew to become its own art form.

The posters could use only a single image to seduce viewers into the story -- and the theater. And it's a characteristic that collectors soon grew to appreciate. In the best cases, such as with the "JAWS" poster, the objects themselves became icons. And, in other cases, poster designers were able to transform everyday items into trademarks of terror: In "Friday the 13th," it was Jason's hockey mask. In "Scream," it was the silly ghost costume. In "Halloween," it was the gleaming kitchen knife.

The Good, the Bad and the Pricey

Over time, collectors have forked over gigantic sums for particularly rare specimens of movie posters. For example, in November 2005, an original poster for Fritz Lang's 1927 classic "Metropolis" fetched nearly €600,000 ($840,000). And the owners of some classic horror film posters have also made a killing at auctions. For example, not long ago, one seller raked in almost €450,000 for a poster for the 1932 gore classic "The Mummy."

But the posters that eventually attain cult status are few and far between. And, with horror film posters, the scariest part can sometimes be just how lame the designer's attempt to frighten the viewer is. Instead of providing ominous hints, the blood smeared across the posters often actually makes them look more like the finger painting a kid would bring home from a birthday party. Rather than subtly planting the seeds of terror in the viewer's imagination, some posters opt to line up a whole parade of horrific creatures. And instead of leaving it up to the observer to decide whether he or she thinks the poster is scary, some posters tell them exactly what to think with taglines like "The scariest film of all time!"

There are so many examples of these crimes against taste. Take the poster for "Sado -- Stoss das Tor zur Hölle auf," the German title for the Italian film "Buio Omega" (whose English-language titles include "Buried Alive."). What better way is there to scare people than by having an actor that looks like he was tarred before being shoved into a kiddy pool full of red Jell-O? And in "Yog: Monster from Space," you have a picture of two enormous (and harmless-looking) sea creatures floating in the background, while a tiny man and a screeching blonde run away from them in the foreground. Or, there's always the poster for the 1968 film "Corruption," whose tagline seriously warns: "This is not a woman's picture! No women will be allowed in alone!"

And to add to ridiculousness of the poster design, the movies often have wildly different names in many countries. We have collected almost 40 posters used to promote horror films in Germany over the years and they reveal the remarkably strange changes that can be made to film titles. If you think you are up to the challenge, why not take our horror film poster quiz where you can try to work out the plots and names of these B-movies just by looking at the German posters.